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syafiqaaah Your welcome message here. |
a piece of my mind Hello, my name's syaf. I'm predictable & I wanna grow up have 4kids, 2 cats and one horse. |
Wednesday, February 3, 2010!
"At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we’ve chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need" Friday, January 8, 2010! Beeen having a lot of weird dreams of late and it's exhausting.-__________- Like running a marathon.(okay, maybe cos my dreams since the past few days involve alien invasion, ninjas, running for my life and competition) Even after sleeping 8/9 hours straight you feel as though you didn't sleep the entire night. eiyeeeerr. i swear they all got to mean something lor. Last night dream was fuunny yet weird. Food eating competition for mega fat people and i joined. ha ha. (i don't know who won, cos my alarm rang halfway. but i remmember this one man chomping on his burger super fast) :O Labels: dreams Friday, December 18, 2009! Last year, this was what i wrote on new year. " It's 2009. I think a lot of things happened the year. But i won't say i've matured. (everyone says the same thing every year, and repeat it again the next yet shit happens.I'm happy where i am now. I finally had the courage to do what i was afraid of doing the entire year&the year before. Frankly,i feel a lot better and i don't think i'm ever gonna regret doing it. Somehow, im actually proud of myself." I know it's not 2010 yet and there's still one more week to go? But since idk if there's gonna be internet connection in jakarta, i might as well pen down my thoughts now. Personally i think this year i've learnt the most about life, friendship, family and lastly love. I'm less of an idealist now and i don't feel as sheltered as before.(which i only do realize it now) I met many new people throughout the year. Yet, i can easily point out the few who changed me. &honestly, i can't be more thankful. Jazmyn showed me it's okay to express how i feel esp. when your upset or angry w/o feeling scared. Somehow she helped with my difficultly about talking about certain issues such as intimacy. Nura saw through my weakness from start. I remembered her saying early year " if i were guy i'll date you cos your easy to con" Thanks to her, i've learnt that i deserve to be treated right, not get pushed around and to love myself. Idk how, but i did. It's like i don't need people to tell me that i've changed. I know that and i can see/feel it for myself. Lastly i used to believe so many things about love but i don't fall in love easily. i used to believe that i'll know the right guy for me when i meet/get to know him. (not get marrried that sort of thing). the one who i can really treat me well, accept me for me and love me for the right reason. The kind of guy i don't have to worry that he'll leave or cheat the next day. Simply, those that will stay. So, i went on dates,but never got anywhere near serious. &its true when they say it happens when you least expect it. when i did fell in love and seemed pretty serious about it, even mum got worried (since she knows im not that sort) she thought i was gonna run off and get married straight away after poly. bigggg ha ha. I used to believe that love was the most important thing to make r/s work and what's inside that matter most. Money, material things,intelligence, culture and background won't matter or make much of a difference. My mum and dad was right after all and that i couldn't see things clearly. But there are certain things in life which i've gotta learn myself. Anyways, at least i felt what it was like to be in love again. To simply trust and give everything w/o being afraid of not receiving any back.&finally falling out of love, moving on and not having any regrets. We all get burned. Yes, it hurts like a bitch. But those that survived, are the ones that learned. Honestly, i don't regret. I learnt a lot and less of an idealist now. I'm pretty much contented with my life doing a lot of things that i've been missing out on. <3 . kick ass friends.sara, nissa, josephine, nura and jaz. ready to chop ballls if i give them the green light to do so and always there. Next year, i know things gonna be better and hopefully i got just as much to write down as this one. Labels: two thousand nine. Sunday, November 29, 2009! It's 1.24am in the morning. I think im gonna make this short and sweet. Had a blast with the girls at botanic garden and handerson waves. Honestly, i feel like i'm alot happier and i think i deserved this. Let everything out for the last time and i think this is it. fullstop. I'm not gonna bring it up any more. Picnic,girls,flowerrs, swans&turtles. <3s thnks girls. sidetrack abit, tonight i've realised how much some one can grow and changed.&that maybe i should give certain people more credit. at this point of time(that im getting there) maybe that's what i need. to knw that im loved/appreciated and mean something to someone. That's definately gonna push me. okay, enough for one night i think im off to bed now. eyebags eyebags! Labels: letting go, moving on Thursday, November 26, 2009! I know i'm mentally and emotionally unstable right now. i've tried my best to suppresse/block that particular feeling, that feeling that i find it hard to explain . Block it out, pretend nothing happened, and be myself again. Keep telling myself that im okay, that i won't break. it's only been a week and honestly i feel it catching up. idk how to explan it. But all i know is i can't stay angry or hateful for long and that simply makes it harder. Labels: im sick of chocolates Tuesday, August 25, 2009! ONE LAST PPR TO GO. ONE LAST PPR TO GO. ONE LAST PPR TO GO. honestly, i need to catch up on my sleep. hdkjd. ok. im off to stdy feeeding babies and mosquito breeeding. I just realised nursing is definately more then just wound dressings and offering bed pan. :/ Wednesday, August 19, 2009! Okaaay.It's 11.30 and im frigging late to meet those two mangkoks :/ I think ill grab chiccken pie along the wayyy. chompchomp. [: tmr's pyschology ppr. I'm toassst. & for once i see no link. pyschology & nursing? hsjksjlsb. |
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