|
userinfo
journal
links
tagboard
|
|
syafiqaaah Your welcome message here. |
a piece of my mind Hello, my name's syaf. I'm predictable & I wanna grow up have 4kids, 2 cats and one horse. |
Friday, December 18, 2009!
Last year, this was what i wrote on new year. " It's 2009. I think a lot of things happened the year. But i won't say i've matured. (everyone says the same thing every year, and repeat it again the next yet shit happens.I'm happy where i am now. I finally had the courage to do what i was afraid of doing the entire year&the year before. Frankly,i feel a lot better and i don't think i'm ever gonna regret doing it. Somehow, im actually proud of myself." I know it's not 2010 yet and there's still one more week to go? But since idk if there's gonna be internet connection in jakarta, i might as well pen down my thoughts now. Personally i think this year i've learnt the most about life, friendship, family and lastly love. I'm less of an idealist now and i don't feel as sheltered as before.(which i only do realize it now) I met many new people throughout the year. Yet, i can easily point out the few who changed me. &honestly, i can't be more thankful. Jazmyn showed me it's okay to express how i feel esp. when your upset or angry w/o feeling scared. Somehow she helped with my difficultly about talking about certain issues such as intimacy. Nura saw through my weakness from start. I remembered her saying early year " if i were guy i'll date you cos your easy to con" Thanks to her, i've learnt that i deserve to be treated right, not get pushed around and to love myself. Idk how, but i did. It's like i don't need people to tell me that i've changed. I know that and i can see/feel it for myself. Lastly i used to believe so many things about love but i don't fall in love easily. i used to believe that i'll know the right guy for me when i meet/get to know him. (not get marrried that sort of thing). the one who i can really treat me well, accept me for me and love me for the right reason. The kind of guy i don't have to worry that he'll leave or cheat the next day. Simply, those that will stay. So, i went on dates,but never got anywhere near serious. &its true when they say it happens when you least expect it. when i did fell in love and seemed pretty serious about it, even mum got worried (since she knows im not that sort) she thought i was gonna run off and get married straight away after poly. bigggg ha ha. I used to believe that love was the most important thing to make r/s work and what's inside that matter most. Money, material things,intelligence, culture and background won't matter or make much of a difference. My mum and dad was right after all and that i couldn't see things clearly. But there are certain things in life which i've gotta learn myself. Anyways, at least i felt what it was like to be in love again. To simply trust and give everything w/o being afraid of not receiving any back.&finally falling out of love, moving on and not having any regrets. We all get burned. Yes, it hurts like a bitch. But those that survived, are the ones that learned. Honestly, i don't regret. I learnt a lot and less of an idealist now. I'm pretty much contented with my life doing a lot of things that i've been missing out on. <3 . kick ass friends.sara, nissa, josephine, nura and jaz. ready to chop ballls if i give them the green light to do so and always there. Next year, i know things gonna be better and hopefully i got just as much to write down as this one. Labels: two thousand nine. |
the endless connections Your links here. |
articulate Your tagboard here. |
overview Blog started: ??/??/?? Blog died: ??/??/?? Browser: Mozilla Firefox archives June 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 credits aappletree lyricaltragedy |